Friday, January 8, 2010

Hear This, Not That

We are in a new decade. And we are tumbling ever so quickly toward Idiocracy. Oh, trust me. We are. Somehow McDonald's is showing a larger effort to inform the consumer about nutrition while the consumer is just choosing to go down the street for a Baconator or a Quad Stack instead. And when Suzie Consumer wants something "healthy", she picks up a Nutri Grain bar. Because she doesn't care about the ingredients, just the fancy packaging.

And advertising.

And sex appeal.

Commence Idiocracy.

OK, turn into fat, retarded pigs who know that electrolytes are supposed to be good for you for all I care. Don't pick up your copy of Eat This Not That to start a decade of knowing what the hell you are putting into your body.

But don't listen to garbage. I'm here to guide you. Maybe we can keep from falling down the slippery slope into dystopia, one song at a time.

Hot Topic and AP are going to be parading this horrible band around the country this winter and spring. Don't fall for it! You will immediately lose IQ points. There are other choices.

Between you and I
I still keep your pictures underneath my bed
Where she gives herself to me


"What's the difference between them and Fall Out Boy," Mookie asks. I don't know why he doesn't see it. I thought he liked Fall Out Boy. Well anyway. Everything on this last album has been done before. You want a campy, feel-good anthem? Hawk Nelson is a good place to find it. You want a crafty, I-Miss-You or I'm-Better-Off-Without-You snarkfest? It's the F-O-B.

I'm not going to bother assessing for you the new album or any past ones. It's 2010. Use your taste wisely. Oh, so why am I using old songs to compare to these? Because my point is that Every Avenue never even needed to form as a band.

So how you like them apples?


Hear This, Not That:

This:

Download Fall Out Boy - Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today

Not:

Download Every Avenue - Take A Step Back

This:

Download Hawk Nelson - California

Not:

Download Every Avenue - Chasing The Night


1 comment:

brandon said...

I understand your point, but these guys are just having fun trying to make a path for themselves. yeah they are catching a wave... but i think they are smart guys that seemingly have good hearts. so why knock what they do ya know? a ton of bands are doing the same thing they are. ill mention a few that have a cool twist on it: open AP magazine this month and youll see "the right coast" and "rocky loves emily". bands that sound like every avenue and fob but still sound AWESOME. i guess at the end of the day, a ton of bands are going to sound like FOB. but thats just how it goes...